I brought up the personal PERSONAL Personal relationship with God because that's something I'm working towards in my own life, and craving. Since I'm a bit more mainstream, I've grown up hearing about the "God sized hole" in everyone's heart. And I am here to tell you, I've experienced it in plenty! How many others have I tried to shove in there, and how much chocolate? Too many/much of both, I assure you!
I agree that at least in part, we were made to be His companions. And obviously we were created for other reasons as well, maybe just because He enjoys creating? I think perhaps we concieve of Him as not taking joy in things/people, and I think that's false. I think He enjoys loving us, and that He delights in us, as hard as that is to wrap our minds around. (I am working on this in my own study so don't look to me for direction, I'm only just beginning).
I do think it is POSSIBLE to have a personal relationship to Him in this life, but very difficult. I think that might be one of the highest pinacles of aspiration... to really know Him. It's so easy to be distracted by this world, and the many many lovely things in it.
Today's devotional was beyond beautiful, and I want to share it, since it applies:
"We were made for God. Only by being in some respect like Him, only by being a manifestation of His beauty, lovingkindness, wisdom or goodness, has any Beloved excited our love. It is not that we have loved them too much, but that we did not quite understand what we were loving. It is not that we shall be asked to turn from them, so dearly familiar, to a Stranger. When we see the face of God we shall know that we have always known it. He has been a party to, has made, sustained and moved moment by moment within, all our earthly experiences of innocent love. All that was true love in them was, even on earth, far more His than ours, and ours only becuse His. In Heaven there will be no anguish and no duty of turning away from our earthly Beloveds. First, because we shall have turned already, from the portraits to the Original, from the rivulets to the Fountain, from the creatures He made lovable to Love Himself. But secondly, because we shall find them all in Him. By loving Him more than them we shall love them more than we now do". (CS Lewis, The Business of Heaven, entry for June 3)
It's the last line there that I often find comfort in... and which I find reflected in a thousand Christian living manuals. "Love God more and find yourself loving your spouse/friends/children more". But then we are told, reflectively, to love God more by loving those around us more. Is this a sort of Christian zen? (grin) I think it's one of the great mysteries, but I don't think it's therefore a waste of time to pursue it.
Further thoughts?
Showing posts with label God's love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God's love. Show all posts
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Christ, Himself, Alone
I had tried to post earlier and my computer was 'doing funny things,' as the techies say and then I got busy with all the little trick-or-treaters.
So on to Heaven and your question of, if I haven't forgotten all the brilliant insights I had at the time when I first started writing this.
When I was a little girl, the idea of Heaven terrified me but the alternative, being Hell, as I understood it, was even worse, so as far as I was concerned, the 'choice' was forced on me. Of course I had to pick Heaven. I felt very bad and guilty about these thoughts which I had even then. When I was growing up, love of God was not emphasized nearly as much as the alternative, Hell. For some odd reason some pastors think that they can scare people into the arms of God. In my blasphemous thoughts, I felt that well, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
And so it was with me and my idea of God. I felt that I had to love Him because otherwise I would end up in Hell. So I feared God but I didn't love Him, for Himself alone. I think a lot of people who have turned against traditional churches have turned away for exactly that reason. People - most people? - resent feeling they are being forced into a corner.
And with regards to wanting to be in Heaven because we will see our loved ones and because there will be no more pain - firstly, we know that without God, there is nothing but pain, so really when we look forward to Heaven because there is neither death nor pain nor injustice, although maybe it seems at first glance that we are looking forward to Heaven only because of that, we aren't. We are looking forward to a place where there is no injustice, no death, and where we are reunited with our loved ones, and by definition, such a place, such thoughts have to include God. So God is not left out of the equation.
I think that is almost silly, when pastors tell us we were created to love God and praise Him. What the heck does that mean? Those words haven't any meaning at all because no one can tell us what they mean by that. Here we are, going through all this crap, and someone Up There claims that He created us to love Him. I think why we were created is a mystery, and no one has come up with a good answer, and so they trot out trite, superficial sayings and for some reason, expect that to comfort or satisfy us.
I believe it was Jesus (maybe it was God) who said that or maybe it was one of the apostles who said something along the lines of we didn't choose Him - He chose us. In fact, God in the OT reminds Israel repeatedly of that - that they didn't choose Him - He chose them, and not because they were so much better than the rest of us. He doesn't really get into His reasons for choosing Israel. He just says it wasn't because they were so much better than everyone else.
And then somewhere else in the Bible, it says that we love Him because He first loved us. His love comes first, not ours. Which makes perfect sense, since He is the First Cause of everything.
When we are forced to take a position due to the threat of dire consequences, how can we love freely? I don't believe that God wants to hold us hostage in a love me, or else way. That's not love. Love is something personal, that is given freely.
I've often wondered why children have so many nightmares. I don't have nearly the number of nightmares I had as a child. I can remember quite clearly the emotions I had when I realised, as a child, that one day my parents were going to die. One day everyone was going to die. Including me. And it seems to me that my nightmares sprung out of that fear. I used to try and plan what I would do if my parents died. I wanted to be with them. Then I was told that suicide would also take you to Hell. So you were stuck in this life because if you killed yourself thinking that you would be reunited in Heaven with your loved ones, well, God had a trick up His sleeve, because suicides, I was taught, went to Hell. Catch-22.
It is kind of hard to love a God like that for Himself, and not for fear of His threats so it is only natural that when we think of Heaven, and how much we want to be there, He isn't foremost in our minds. Our loved ones are.
I am trying to think just how and when it began that I loved God for Himself and I am not really sure. Somehow it began first with a verse, I think it is in Genesis, where it says, "Will not the Lord God do that which is right?"
And then I thought that yes, yes He would. He would do that which is right. He is the First Cause of justice as well. It is He from whom we get our ideas about justice. We (people) are very stupid in a lot of ways, but we all have a sense of justice, the moral law within, as the philosopher Immanuel Kant put it. Even the sociopath knows what is right and what is wrong - he just doesn't care.
I don't believe that God has any tricks up His sleeve. I don't know why He made us. I think He made us in part for companionship. Maybe angels are not free to choose to love him. Or maybe, because angels must know more than we and less than God, the very fact that they have more knowledge of Him makes the love that angels feel for God, less than faith - the faith that sees through a glass darkly, but not face to face. Maybe God wanted to create a thinking creature and see whether such a creature, who did not see God on His throne daily, could still see the goodness of God shining through the darkness in this world, and still, without ever having seen Him, believe that He must exist.
And somewhere along the line I realised that although I wasn't perfect, and in fact, my every imperfect way caused me such shame, that I don't have to be perfect. Jesus knows I am trying. That my prayer is more along the lines of I believe. Help Thou mine unbelief.
And somewhere along the line, I came to the point where seeing my loved ones alone, would not be enough. I want to see God face to face. I feel as though I have a world of tears bottled up that won't get out until I see Him and He explains to me the reasons for everything. I think that when we finally get to that place, that is how everyone will feel and that is what is behind that verse in the Bible, when it says that God will wipe away all tears from our eyes. First there has to be the crying before the tears can be wiped away.
And I believe that He is going to give us a reason and it is going to make perfect sense and the reason has to be a really good reason, a reason so good that all the pain of all people in the world at all times, is somehow justified by this reason. What that can be I really don't know. But I believe that it exists. And I can say, that even without my loved ones, I want to be there and I want to see Him, first of all.
I hope this post makes some sense. I feel as if I have rambled all over the place without quite connecting my thoughts the way that I want to.
Layla
So on to Heaven and your question of, if I haven't forgotten all the brilliant insights I had at the time when I first started writing this.
When I was a little girl, the idea of Heaven terrified me but the alternative, being Hell, as I understood it, was even worse, so as far as I was concerned, the 'choice' was forced on me. Of course I had to pick Heaven. I felt very bad and guilty about these thoughts which I had even then. When I was growing up, love of God was not emphasized nearly as much as the alternative, Hell. For some odd reason some pastors think that they can scare people into the arms of God. In my blasphemous thoughts, I felt that well, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
And so it was with me and my idea of God. I felt that I had to love Him because otherwise I would end up in Hell. So I feared God but I didn't love Him, for Himself alone. I think a lot of people who have turned against traditional churches have turned away for exactly that reason. People - most people? - resent feeling they are being forced into a corner.
And with regards to wanting to be in Heaven because we will see our loved ones and because there will be no more pain - firstly, we know that without God, there is nothing but pain, so really when we look forward to Heaven because there is neither death nor pain nor injustice, although maybe it seems at first glance that we are looking forward to Heaven only because of that, we aren't. We are looking forward to a place where there is no injustice, no death, and where we are reunited with our loved ones, and by definition, such a place, such thoughts have to include God. So God is not left out of the equation.
I think that is almost silly, when pastors tell us we were created to love God and praise Him. What the heck does that mean? Those words haven't any meaning at all because no one can tell us what they mean by that. Here we are, going through all this crap, and someone Up There claims that He created us to love Him. I think why we were created is a mystery, and no one has come up with a good answer, and so they trot out trite, superficial sayings and for some reason, expect that to comfort or satisfy us.
I believe it was Jesus (maybe it was God) who said that or maybe it was one of the apostles who said something along the lines of we didn't choose Him - He chose us. In fact, God in the OT reminds Israel repeatedly of that - that they didn't choose Him - He chose them, and not because they were so much better than the rest of us. He doesn't really get into His reasons for choosing Israel. He just says it wasn't because they were so much better than everyone else.
And then somewhere else in the Bible, it says that we love Him because He first loved us. His love comes first, not ours. Which makes perfect sense, since He is the First Cause of everything.
When we are forced to take a position due to the threat of dire consequences, how can we love freely? I don't believe that God wants to hold us hostage in a love me, or else way. That's not love. Love is something personal, that is given freely.
I've often wondered why children have so many nightmares. I don't have nearly the number of nightmares I had as a child. I can remember quite clearly the emotions I had when I realised, as a child, that one day my parents were going to die. One day everyone was going to die. Including me. And it seems to me that my nightmares sprung out of that fear. I used to try and plan what I would do if my parents died. I wanted to be with them. Then I was told that suicide would also take you to Hell. So you were stuck in this life because if you killed yourself thinking that you would be reunited in Heaven with your loved ones, well, God had a trick up His sleeve, because suicides, I was taught, went to Hell. Catch-22.
It is kind of hard to love a God like that for Himself, and not for fear of His threats so it is only natural that when we think of Heaven, and how much we want to be there, He isn't foremost in our minds. Our loved ones are.
I am trying to think just how and when it began that I loved God for Himself and I am not really sure. Somehow it began first with a verse, I think it is in Genesis, where it says, "Will not the Lord God do that which is right?"
And then I thought that yes, yes He would. He would do that which is right. He is the First Cause of justice as well. It is He from whom we get our ideas about justice. We (people) are very stupid in a lot of ways, but we all have a sense of justice, the moral law within, as the philosopher Immanuel Kant put it. Even the sociopath knows what is right and what is wrong - he just doesn't care.
I don't believe that God has any tricks up His sleeve. I don't know why He made us. I think He made us in part for companionship. Maybe angels are not free to choose to love him. Or maybe, because angels must know more than we and less than God, the very fact that they have more knowledge of Him makes the love that angels feel for God, less than faith - the faith that sees through a glass darkly, but not face to face. Maybe God wanted to create a thinking creature and see whether such a creature, who did not see God on His throne daily, could still see the goodness of God shining through the darkness in this world, and still, without ever having seen Him, believe that He must exist.
And somewhere along the line I realised that although I wasn't perfect, and in fact, my every imperfect way caused me such shame, that I don't have to be perfect. Jesus knows I am trying. That my prayer is more along the lines of I believe. Help Thou mine unbelief.
And somewhere along the line, I came to the point where seeing my loved ones alone, would not be enough. I want to see God face to face. I feel as though I have a world of tears bottled up that won't get out until I see Him and He explains to me the reasons for everything. I think that when we finally get to that place, that is how everyone will feel and that is what is behind that verse in the Bible, when it says that God will wipe away all tears from our eyes. First there has to be the crying before the tears can be wiped away.
And I believe that He is going to give us a reason and it is going to make perfect sense and the reason has to be a really good reason, a reason so good that all the pain of all people in the world at all times, is somehow justified by this reason. What that can be I really don't know. But I believe that it exists. And I can say, that even without my loved ones, I want to be there and I want to see Him, first of all.
I hope this post makes some sense. I feel as if I have rambled all over the place without quite connecting my thoughts the way that I want to.
Layla
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